That's Not Punny
by Erika-The-Unicorn
Summary: Haruki is not punny, but she tries anyways. 40% dumb unoriginal puns, 20% beach stuff, 30% down right crappy writing, and 10% shipping. (Also a crappy summary, but I assure you the story is better than the summary. ((I hope, at least.)) ).


The time Inukai Isuke saw that idiot again it was at a supposed "reunion" party at a private beach. Well, quote on quote _private_. There were still stupid, bratty boys whistling and calling out, and fruitlessly flirting. Ridiculously pathetic. But the thing that ground at Isuke the most was the fact of how _incredibly_ oblivious that idiotic, pocky munching, red head really was. Was she so stupid not to see all the bikini wearing bimbos – mind you, Isuke was wearing one too, but she wasn't fawning over Haruki (not yet at least) - and speedo sporting idiots trying to flirt it up with her? Did she honestly think they were looking for just friends?

It seemed Nio noticed it too. Or at least noticed all the angered huffs and glares she directed in the general direction of the girl now having a friendly talk with some of the former piers of Class Black. Isuke's hand unconsciously ached at the thought. Nio followed Isuke's line of site and smiled – well, more like grinned, she had to seriously do something about those unnaturally sharp teeth.

"Miss Haruki already, huh Isuke?"

Isuke scoffed at the question. Her, miss that gorge- ridiculous idiot? Not possible. Of course she didn't miss the carefree smiles sent her way, of course she didn't miss being offered pocky every hour – and rejecting only because she didn't touch poor people food (or so she says) -, and she certainly didn't miss sharing a room with her and watching the peaceful look on her face and the soft rise and fall of her chest and the-… she stopped that train of thought right there. So instead Isuke said – as very characteristic of her – that _of course _she didn't miss that pocky loving idiot.

Nio looked skeptical but let it slide, not wanting to risk getting a blade stuck through her head on such a nice day. Honestly, Isuke could be so temperamental. Nio stalked off, probably to stalk someone or something of sorts. Haruki turned her head and caught Isuke staring, well _glaring, _at her but knew it was something Isuke did on a daily basis so she wasn't fazed. Instead, she grinned, waved, and jogged over to her. Isuke's scowl deepened but a light pink still made its way to her cheeks (she would never admit she was glad Haruki had come over).

"Hey Isuke-sama! Hey, hey, Isuke-sama!" Oh dear _God. _She looked like an eager dog when its owner came back home. And people were staring too. Oh _joy_.

Haruki practically skidded to a stop in front of Isuke, and her eyes shone with sheer joy and excitement. Cue the excited dog tail wagging a mile a minute? Then Haruki grinned – oh God, that grin -, and Isuke felt happy to see her until…

"I _sea_ you made it here, Isuke-sama." Haruki wiggled her eyebrows at her own pun.

Oh no. Not a pun. Please not puns. Isuke internally sighed, oh and externally too. She sighed as loud as she could to tell that no, she did not enjoy the pun one bit. But even still she had this disgusting urge to hug the girl. Ugh. This is why she couldn't be near Haruki. Her idiocy must be infectious or something. Honestly, hug and Isuke weren't a good combination. Unless it was Mama or Papa. That was the only exception.

Haruki gave one last look before she plopped down in the seat next to her and leaned back. Praise the lord. Her shirt hiked up a bit. Honestly why was Haruki even wearing a shirt in the first place? Why was she even wearing _shorts?_ Even Azuma had a swim suit. _Azuma. _Yet this idiot wasn't? She couldn't really even deny that she felt disappointed about it. That was what was ridiculous. It's not as if she had some kind of heavenly body.

Suddenly she sprang up as quickly as she had leaned back, and reached into her pocket, and _of course _pulled out pocky, and as per ritual, offered some to Isuke. She decided to humor Haruki for once. Why not? So she grabbed one of the sticks out of the box, slowly putting it in her mouth with a frown. Haruki looked surprised herself, with her eyebrows inching up. She quickly shrugged it off and got her own stick of pocky and grinned again. Isuke scoffed and rolled her eyes, being very glad to see Haruki but not looking it in the least. Of course Haruki saw past this act and simply said, "You look nice in a swim suit."

Isuke felt her cheeks flush a bit, but she could later blame it on the light, and instead replied with, "Of course I do", to which Haruki chuckled.

They stayed in relative silence, chewing on their pocky. It was nice really. Well it was nice, until a boat started honking way too loud for Isuke's preference. It caught the attention of some of the other's that chanced a glance to it. A boat just big enough to fit around eight people went near the dock and out came a blonde. Oh no. Or rather oh yes, because yes, it was Sumireko coming out, and yes she was tying the rope to the dock. A shy Mahiru looked around anxiously, and then looked between the boat and the dock with wide eyes. Sumireko said something to try to calm her down. Probably that she could stay onboard, because that's what she did.

Apparently Sumireko came along to take along anyone that wanted to ride. She had been disappointed that she couldn't get a bigger boat (her definition of bigger being a yacht or something), but some people were glad to just stay on land. Isuke was one of them. Haruki was not. So, when Haruki turned at her with those pleading golden eyes, she tried to resist, she really did, but she won in the end, and Isuke found herself seated on the boat, with a much too excited Haruki in the front. Sumireko and Isuke shared a glance for a minute, before she went back to get the boat started. There were a few others who came in too. Shutou was there, looking curious, sitting besides a not amused Kaminaga. Ichinose looked almost as excited as Haruki, while Azuma looked bored. Mahiru was hidden somewhere back there, and Takechi and Kenmochi were there too, although Kenmochi looked a bit… ruffled. She was also scolding the teal-eyed girl about using scissors at inappropriate times, and to stop trying to cut up her swim suit. Oh great. A serial killer interested in cutting up swim suits on board too. Might as well bring a whole circus.

She turned to talk to Haruki but instead found her and Haru having a very animated chat about boats and water and the ocean. She eyed Haru's blue-haired companion with a look of "distract your idiot, so I can talk to mine". If that kind of look could be transferred. It seemed she understood anyways, and interrupted the conversation to tell her this and that. Good. She could have her idiot back.

Haruki looked about to say something but the boat began to move and she looked back at the ocean excitedly. Isuke felt her eyes roll yet again, and she looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to set, and the sky was turning a red-orange.

She felt Haruki shift and turn back to her. Their eyes met, and Isuke was never one for romanticism but-

"Oh buoy this is fun."

But the moment was ruined thanks to Haruki and her stupid mouth and her stupid puns. Isuke's eyes narrowed at her. Damn it.

"Guess you can say we're gonna go aboat."

Please. Make it stop. Haruki was terrible at puns. Especially sea puns. So Isuke snorted and said, "You're terrible at puns."

To which Haruki replied with, "Whale, cod, didn't know you felt that way."

Isuke's eye twitched in annoyance as Haruki broke out into laughter. Haruki laughed for a while as Isuke considered throwing her overboard. She finally settled down and had her arms spread out over the sides of the seat, her arm softly touching Isuke's shoulders.

The boat wasn't going very quick, and the waves were calm. It was pretty relaxing. Isuke closed her eyes and let her head fall back on Haruki's arm a bit. She felt Haruki sigh and move a bit closer. All was well, and all was peaceful. Very relaxing indeed-.

Of course it only lasted for a while. Before long the boat was speeding and crashing into waves and obscenities were yelled. Mainly from… Isuke cracked an eye open. Who know Sumireko would curse that much at Shinya? Oh. Shinya was in control now. Go figure. The boat jerked and she was pushed into Haruki who grunted. Isuke looked around and saw Haru clinging to Azuma. Pathetic. Kaminaga was holding on to Suzu's arm but looked calm otherwise. Hm. Shiena had her face in Takechi's chest, and was holding on to her for dear life, although Takechi herself seemed calm… happy actually. Lunatics. Sumireko was madly trying to stop Shinya's rampage with the boat, but to no avail.

They bumped and jerked and multiple times Isuke was pushed into Haruki when she tried pushing away. Seemingly resigned to her fate, she simply stayed on Haruki with an unamused frown. Haruki herself was looking out into the water with excitement. Light from mainland could be seen from here, but otherwise it was pretty dark.

The boat suddenly jerked to a stop, which had Isuke basically on Haruki's lap. How lovely. Isuke scoffed and wondered if the situation could get any more cliché.

"Cod," Haruki began, once again thinking the sea puns were funny, "that was one hell of a ride."

"Your puns aren't funny, Haruki."

"Puns? I don't know what you you're talking abuoy. I just thought I'd never sea that beach again."

Isuke felt sick. Because of the puns. Not even the boat had made her feel queasy. This was just sad. She sighed very deeply and leveled Haruki with a glare. Puns were_ not_ amusing. The boat started moving again with Sumireko in charge again this time, but Shinya sat nearby, her eyes unfocused and dazed. Isuke wondered what she had done to the maniac. This also led her to question who the real maniac was. Well if they both were, at least they were perfect for each other. Two maniacs. Speaking of maniacs… she looked over at Takechi, who had flushed cheeks and a sadistic smile, saying something about Shiena looking _edible _and _cut-able. _Isuke shivered. She hadn't felt bad for Kenmochi before, but she certainly did now.

"Say, Isuke-sama, did ya have fun?"

She turned back to Haruki who already had a pocky stick between her teeth. She swore pocky was like cigars to Haruki. Oh yes, Isuke had had fun being thrown around like a sack of potatoes. Instead of replying with that, she gave a look that probably said more than any words could. Haruki just chuckled and offered Isuke another pocky. Well someone was feeling generous. Might as well take advantage of it.

So again they sat in silence, chewing on their pocky. Had a sense of déjà vu in a way. When they did eventually dock (Shinya had taken them so far out it took Haruki and Isuke nearly half the box of pocky to get back. Yes, they counted in pocky.), Haruki decided she might as well enjoy what was left of the evening and go into the ocean. Finally. She would take her shirt off, right? Oh yes. Haruki did. Her shorts too. Very, _very _good. Damn the sporty swim suits. There wasn't enough skin showing, but hey, she was getting a clear view of just about everything, so she wasn't complaining. So she sat in a chair, watching Haruki splash around and laugh and play with some of the other idiots.

She had been so distracted in watching she hardly realized Haruki had decided to stop frolicking in the water, and went up to Isuke, leaning over the chair.

"What'cha looking at?"

Isuke snorted. She was watching Haruki-… Isuke almost leapt out of her chair in surprise. Late reaction. Not good for an assassin. Some jobs really did put the _ass _in assassination. Oh what a coincidence, there was a double ass in there.

Composing herself, Isuke explained with a very deep and meaningful scowl. Her eye moved a bit to take in the swim suit clad, wet – mind you, it was sea water – Haruki in front of her. Okay. She was definitely not blushing nor did she feel a few degrees warmer. Wowie. Haruki grinned and oh wow. Nothing could ruin this except-

"Hey, Isuke-sama, wanna _cuttle_? Get it? Like cuttlefish? Get it?"

Except a pun. Yes, Isuke got it. Hahaha, _hilarious_.

"You aren't punny, Haruki."

Isuke and Haruki both froze. Did Isuke just..? Yes, she did. Whoops. Someone should _pun_ish her for that pun.

* * *

**A/N; Here's some Pink Pocky and some others too. First contribution of a fic to the fandom. Hahaha. *Hides in a corner***


End file.
